To marry or not to marry

The estate of marriage is an entity which some people seldom want to be associated with; they simply do not want to consider getting married or marrying. They have their own reasons for not marrying, some of them being religious.

Radical feminists are completely against marriage, and some of them reach the extent of living separately from the rest of those who desire to get married. They do not even want to be anywhere near men and they live ‘lonely’ lives which they are but comfortable with.

They take marriage as a social institution that is aimed at disadvantaging women while putting men in a higher position where they are taken as heads of families and therefore need to be worshipped by women.

For all intents and purposes, these feminists are against the patriarchal structure in marriages where they view marriage to be an already prearranged male chauvinism supporter, with women being taken as lesser humans.

Yet still, there are other men who do not want to marry because of reasons which they think are significant to them. So, when talking about marrying or not marrying, both men and women are involved.

But if we view things from a Christian perspective, what does the bible say about marrying? Does it command everyone created in the image of God to marry; or does it not command, but just gives everyone the liberty to choose whether to marry or not?

Alister McGrath in his book titled Christian Theology: An Introduction points out that the theological task of the church is to interpret its faith and message so that they can be understood and affirmed in each new age.

The scripture must be interpreted so that it appeals to members of the church. This does not mean it should be twisted to serve churches’ individual doctrines which do not necessarily reflect the teachings that are there in the bible.

As such, even teachings which individual churches hold regarding marriage should be based on the greatest tool for human wisdom: the bible. It has answers to all our questions and provides solutions to all our problems.

Theologian Martin Luther is one of the most influential individuals as far as the issue of whether to marry or not is concerned. Among his concerns that led to the ‘original’ reformation was the issue of marriage. Luther found marriage to be a very essential thing in human affairs.

He advanced a point of love in relation to marriage: “Now there are three kinds of love: false love, natural love and married love…. But over and above all, there is married love, that is a bride’s love that glows like a fire and desires nothing else but the husband.”

In support of marriage, Luther further pointed out that the temptation of the flesh has become so strong and consuming that marriage may be likened to a hospital with incurables which prevents inmates from falling into graver sin. This is also the case with a part of Paul’s first letter to the church at Corinth where he says: “I would advise you not to marry, but because there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” – 1 Corinthians 7: 1.

St Paul further adds in verses 8-9 that those who are not married should remain like that implying that at least if we follow his teachings, marriage is not a command for human beings.

People are at liberty to choose whether they should marry or not. Above all, we all strive to enter the kingdom of God, and if an eye causes you to sin, it is better to gauge it out, for it is better to enter the kingdom of heaven with one eye than go to hell with both eyes as the bible says in Mark 9:43. Thus, if you view marriage as something that may be a setback on your quest for righteousness, then it is better not to marry.

The bible further says that to be free from anxieties and serve God, the unmarried man should remain unmarried, for those who marry are anxious to please their wives and husbands while those who are unmarried are anxious to please God – 1 Corinthians 7:32-33.

On the other hand, it has to be pointed out that Adam was given a wife in the Garden of Eden so that he should marry her. God blessed the couple and told them to multiply. This implies that God himself ordained marriage, and was pleased with it, for he could not bless something that he did not like.

However, it is important for believers to pray earnestly for a suitable spouse for Proverbs 19: 14 says parents provide goods and houses for their children, but a good wife comes from God lone.

All in all, this piece has deliberately bent itself towards propounding points that argue that marriage is not necessarily a command. It is something given to mankind by the creator himself, and to those who find it necessarily to be in it, fine and good, but to those who feel like staying without marrying, they should also maintain their unmarried state without engaging into immoral sins.